Lows and Highs

Well it was a week of lows and highs. I saw low's first because it started out sorta down and came up as the week went on.

It was a rough week at work this week, which I guess isn't bad since I've been in my new job for 9 months and this is the first "really bad" week that I've had. I don't want to focus on that though!

I also had another first this week, but this one involved Sara, and it is also one of my lows. We were in the bathroom and she was brushing her teeth and she slipped and fell off her stepstool (for the 2nd time) and it scared me so I yelled at her (she was also goofing around in which I had already warned her to stop). She looked at me wide eyed and burst into tears. We finished brushing her teeth and then I took her into her room to talk to her about why I yelled. I simply told her that it scared me when she slipped and that I don't want her to get hurt and then I apologized. She then looked at me and said "I love daddy now." I thought, "well isn't that sweet", until I asked if she loved me and her reply "not right now." I know there comes a time in every parents journey that their child says "I don't love you" I just wasn't prepared for it at 3.5 years old.

As we move closer to the highs, Sara had a Cinco de Mayo program at her school this week. I am pretty sure I have never seen her that proud in her life. She was supposed to wear a "twirly" bright dress and luckily I found one at Target, in her favorite color...PINK! So she marched into the chapel, one hand shaking a maraca and the other on her hip, exactly as she was told to. She looked at us and had a hard time hiding her huge grin. She continued to March onto the stage and then she stood front and center (we've come a long way here considering at her Christmas program she wouldn't even face the audience) and it was clear that she wanted to be noticed. I say this because when her little friend Rita stepped in front of her (partially) Sara proceeded to push her to the side. She sang loud, she followed all of her directions from Miss Connie and she smiled so big....UNTIL...Rita stepped in front of her during a song and Miss Connie said Sara's name to get her attention. Shortly after that I noticed Sara using both hands to wipe at her eyes, I pretty much knew what was going on but she seemed to recover quickly so I thought I may have been mistaken. They continued through their 6 spanish songs and then left the stage. The program stated that she could sit with us after her part so both Duke and I beckoned her to come sit with us...at which point she burst into tears! I had to take her to the back of the room and when I asked her what was wrong she said she wanted to stay with her class (I found out later she was supposed to stay with her class). On the way home I asked her why she was rubbing her eyes during the program and she let me know that when Miss Connie said her name she "felt some tears starting to come out and she was trying to wipe them away." It was then that I realized, she wanted so badly to impress us and make us proud of her! She will always make us proud.

My week ended with a high! I got to spend time with Sara today doing "Muffins with Mom" and she pointed out the gift she made me. Days like today will NEVER get old, even when she does.